Motivating a child can be difficult if we don’t have the know-how. Children are in their own world, with their own goals, own likes and dislikes, and own sets of motivations. That is why it is not easy to motivate your child by telling them what to do or what to say. Children are motivated when we give them positive reinforcements by showing them a way to achieve what they want in life and by offering them something they want. Our job is to learn and guide them in the most effective way by motivating them in a well-strategized and unforced way.

Our goal as a parent and teacher is to deliver motivation towards them. It is easy to teach a child when you have the same goals as they have.  A motivator may be a perfect score in exchange for ice cream or good behavior in exchange for an increased allowance. We can’t force someone to immediately follow our rules and expect them to be motivated, but we can set a mutual agreement for what we want and what they want.

Communication is the key to effective motivation. Communicating at their level doesn’t necessarily mean that we are giving up the authority of being a parent or being a teacher. We are just giving them a proper understanding that is appropriate for the way they understand things. It will require plenty of patience for us to deliver our message in that way, but the reward will likely be better in the long term. 

We must learn that everything has its own story behind it. Do you kids not want to study? Do they not want to go to school?  Children always have the answer to the question “why,” but what would happen if we gave them such a choice to make on their own and subconsciously make them choose what they want?

One good example of this is offering something they want in exchange for choosing what they want, such as: “if you get a perfect grade on math, I will buy you your favorite toy.”   Or, would you rather not go to school and play all the games you want or go to school and be a pilot someday like you’ve dreamed of? 

With this example, we are giving them the perfect guidance by showing them what the results will be of their achievements. The secret of this approach is that we need to deliver our message at a child’s own level.

By changing the way we approach our children and by understanding their world, their wants, and their needs, we’re giving ourselves leverage. This leverage uses your power to handle your desires as a parent by communicating from your child’s own perspective.

Jose Rizal, a Filipino hero, once said: “the children today are the hope of the future.”  We must communicate with our children for them to achieve great lengths in life.

About Oxford Learning 

Established in 1984, Oxford Learning has grown to include more than 100 locations across Canada, The United States, Qatar, and more. Oxford Learning goes beyond tutoring to help students reach their learning potential, not just for one grade or one year but for a lifetime. The unique programs teach children to learn how to learn.  Visit Oxford Learning online at for complete program information.